Test of Mettle

A sneakier approach could work. [[Sneak out of the bedroom]]

You successfully jump off the bed, your hip thrust has remained strong, but as you attempt to manuveur in the air you realize in your arrogance you were always pulling the tablecloth away from something, neither is your musculature well-suited to arial movements. You land on the corner of the duvet, the pads of your toes touching the artificially reconstructed but natural enough to market as "natural wood fibre" floor boards and your heel on the duvet. You slip like an Italian plumber in a contrived but innovative racing series might if there had been a bannana peel from a comically buff primate laid for the sole purpose of ruining your day. [[Attempt to land on your back]] [[Try to grab something]] [[Yell "Malta help!"]]

A turtle is a master of defensive offence. The snapping turtle maintains its defence and in a decisive moment delivers a fatal blow to its enemy. The blanket is your shell. You don't have an snapping attack, but you have two hands which you can use to grab whoever or whatever gets in your way. [[Leave the bedroom in a cloak of defence]]

Okay, a quick stretch. Just pull one knee to your chest, then another. A few more movememts... done! Yoga would be better but you are on a mission. You're nimble and filled with fire, nothing can get in your way. [[Exit the bedroom]]

The inspiration behind the story, photos of Gilla (who plays Malta) and Mao (who plays Sia). These photos were taken during the writing of the first draft. Yes this has happened dozens of times, yes I still fall for it almost every time. Excluded is my lovely wife to whom I dedicate this work. This happens when she is travelling or gone away for work.

As you enter the kitchen you see something move. It must be fast, you only caught a blur. It was dark and small, it coudn't possibly be human. Malta has a good sense, you should have trusted her from the start. Maybe you were too loud, but you are sure you can take on a baby bear in a fight. Maybe even a teenage bear. You see what was dropped, a Roku TV remote. This creature knows what you do. It knows what you like. [[Pick up the remote]] [[Survey the rest of the area]]

With your right hand you twist the door handle, and open the door. You hear something drop, pushed off the kitchen counter. Malta jumps down beside you and growls. You were never alone, you have humanity's best friend at your side, you couldn't ask for a better companion. [[Enter the kitchen]]

It's a new struggle everyday, today's is hopefully only getting out of bed. You only need to do this once, you know you couldn't handle a second major disturbance. How do you get out of bed? This will set the tone for your potential encounter... [[Jump out while pulling the duvet off in a single motion]] [[Ask Malta to sit and stay, then gently crawl out of bed]] [[Cover yourself with the blanket, defence is the best offence]]

She's a good little girl. You really love her with everything, rescuing her from the adoption centre was among the best decisions you've made. There aren't too many decisions you can recall, truth be told, but right now this is the only one that matters. Malta snuggles up and has calmed down considerably. You place your blanket over her and yourself, focusing on the suprising warmth of her small body. There's another sound outside, something fell. Malta jumps up and barks louder than before, you wish you lived somewhere else. Malta is shaking and urinates on the bed. Now you have to get up and clean the mess. THE END

You've done this before. As much as little Malta wants to be a guard dog, her time on the couch and in your lap has softened her wild instincts. There isn't anything out there besides the macrological phenomena of heat dissipation and the contraction associated with a decrease in temperature—that is, the creaking sound happens because the chitzy flooring board made from "natural wood fibre" doesn't have sufficient density of lignin to gracefully acclimatize to the moistural and temperature changes that accompany the rising and setting of the sun. You fall back asleep with Malta under your duvet. THE END

For years you practiced pulling tablecloths off of tables hoping to re-enact a scene in a film or television show you watched in adolescence. Only once did you ever actually manage it, right now you need to channel the rush of exhilaration you felt then. The other power you have, that of jumping, comes from the several months at GoodLife when you actually lifted regulalry, at least twice a week if not three. You did what all the other gym goers did, //hip thrusts//. If your booty became mighty, then you would truly be formidable. Hip thursts were easy, you had a habit of jumping out of bed suddenly to start the day. This is when you learned the hip thrust was never going to be good enough, and that your days at the gym were numbered. Or so you tell yourself. [[Continue the flashy exit from the bed]]

"Hey it's OK, who's my good girl? What a good girl!" You learned in the book by Sophia Yin, titled //How to Behave So Your Dog Behaves// that it's all your fault. You set a bad example for Malta and even though reading the past the title would have given you useful information you skipped it because you figured you could blame your parents for your own cruddy behaviour. This is how to learn, by judging books by their cover. Malta growls, then "Bark! Bark!" Okay, something might be there but you don't want to get up. Maybe if you give extra love you can both go to sleep and the burglar or spirit will leave you alone and wait until you're well rested. [[Give Malta extra love]] [[Remember another book cover]] [[Get out of bed]]

There were books titled //On Nature// or //Of Nature// in the past. A time when there were fewer authors as literacy was scarce. Today there are titles like //Catcher in the Rye// which really refer to a specific part in the book and attempt to make a bigger point than anyone has the patience for. In //Catcher in the Rye// you figured after judging the cover that the book would be about farming practice in mid-centruy America. You were sorely disapointed to discover that was not the case. Instead it revealed a story quite similar to your own, about 'coming-of-age' and a note about family. You have all the family you need right here. In fact you cannot recall a parent or sibling or anyone else that might matter. Malta is all you need and by avoiding your responsibilities and ensuring a good sleep you can set both of yourselves up for success. This truly is a Test of Mettle. Malta is gone! She went to the door while you were deliberating. She's barking and managed to open the door to your bedroom. You have to get out of bed to find her... Hopefully she was not hurt! THE END

It was Sia, your cat. You're other best friend, more like a roommate. Of course your second furbaby. Malta is gone, she is upright with her paws on the ledge where Sia's food bowl is. Oh, Sia finished his food and he was trying to find more. Malta you traitor! I trusted you! [[End]]

In the throws of the night you hear a creak, your little Maltese barks and you get up out of your bed. Your feet are warming up in your fur-lined slippers, giving you a moment to think. What will you do. [[Go back to sleep]] [[Pet the dog, tell her everything will be OK]] [[Wait and listen]] [[Get out of bed]]

You wait, patient. A single blade of grass in the foothills of Anatolia. Unwavering, unyielding. A caucophony of sounds pellate the hairs in your ear. The electric tingle passes immediately and creates a sensorimotor map of the room. You close your eyes to immerse yourself. There, you 'see' with your ears the edge of a paw, the limb of the beast. [[Rush towards the beast, forgo any sense of safety, you must defend Malta!]]

It's not a good idea to bend over and expose your defences. Maybe if you were armoured, but now you are essentially naked, you chose offence and you'll have to make "Offense the best defense". You don't see anything else of the ordinary. It isn't too bright but everything seems as it was before. Malta growls, of course, the creaking sound! The creature must be heavy, you recall the image that moved looked like a blob. Like a walrus or hippo, it appears overweight but is packed full of soft muscular tisssue. What to do? [[Ready your fists]] [[Stay still, listen for the creak]]

Aha! You manage a grip, the same as a hammer curl. Fire rushes through your blood, pumping oxygen to your little myosin and actin helpers. You steady your fall and with a heave push with your single arm connected to the ground through the sidetable leg away from the ground to place your second foot on the ground. Secure contact... check! You landed without a hitch and only broke into minor sweat. It is time to find the source of unhappiness and let it know you mean business. You should probably stretch, but the adreneline tells you "Nah, just use the treadmill and warmup" echoing your classmates response after your gym teacher insisted "Stretching is important to maintain gains", as though the teacher included your trigger word, 'gains' to make you do something you hated. [[Do a quick stretch]] [[Forget stretching, you're on a roll]]

The door is too far, but a sidetable with books you plan-to-read but never-quite-got-around-to is in reach. You reach your right hand out, thrusting towards the sidetable. The top is cluttered books but it is a larger area, the leg is narrow and has firm contact with the ground. Which do you aim for? [[The book-cluttered top]] [[The narrow leg]]

The AC is off, that might be why Malta heard the creak. This is a pain. Even if you wanted to go back to sleep you would need to get out of bed to turn on the AC. Malta is going to want to cuddle you to calm down and she's like a portable heater. This isn't fair. This is personal. Now you need to find out what made that noise. You already anthropomorphized the creak and it's gonna find out why you don't mess with Malta. Or Malta's furparent for that matter. [[Get out of bed]]